Willpower vs cake

Another day, another office birthday… you know, I am finding Veganuary as much a test of willpower as it is a creative challenge. As I type, there is a beautiful tiramisu-flavoured sponge cake sitting on the table behind me (not chocolate… tiramisu!), and I am not going to have a bite. Not one. I won’t even smell it. It looks absolutely beautiful, though…

My colleagues are currently tucking in, and I’m trying very hard not to look – tiramisu is one of my favourite desserts In. The. Whole. World… but I’m comforting myself with the thought that I will make one for me and Jones in February. I wonder if you can make a vegan tiramisu? [ed: you can!] And we’re hoping to have vegan pizza for dinner tonight, so that will be treat enough to keep me on the straight and narrow, I’m sure. I’m also planning to toddle along to Boots at lunchtime to see if I can find one of those amazing Coronation Veggie sandwiches that they sell – see, tummy, veganism is delicious! Much more delicious than tiramisu cake. Definitely.

I was talking to Jones about this very matter as we walked to the tube this morning – how old habits die hard, and how my mindset hasn’t completely adjusted to vegan-ing yet. Although I’m now much more positive about the project, thinking mainly about exciting new things I can try rather than mourning what I’m not allowed (unless it’s actually there in front of me – cake, begone!), I still haven’t quite got to the point where I don’t instinctively go for a non-vegan thing, only to realise, just in time, ‘no, not this month’. Maybe because I’m treating the change in regime as a temporary thing, with service to resume as normal in Feb?

Yesterday was a case in point – wandering down to the high street, as I blogged yesterday, my first three thoughts for a warming lunch were ‘cheesey toasted sandwich… jacket potato with sausage… mac n’ cheese ready meal’. I wonder how long I would need to keep this up before my mind stops wandering down these forbidden pathways?

Whereas Si seems to be an absolute paragon of virtue – I don’t know how he does it, but he says (claims!) that he isn’t hankering after non-vegan stuff at all, that it never crosses his mind as an option, and that he isn’t craving anything that we can’t currently have. ‘Once you accept an all or nothing approach,’ he says, ‘the rest follows very easily.’

Would that I had his willpower!


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